R-Rated

MOM:  This topic R-rated movies has come up this week because we have a movie trip with friends planned for this weekend.  This is a complicated topic to me as a mom because I am not very conventional in my views.  My kids are tween and early teen and I would have no problem letting them see an R-rated movie.  The movies would be evaluated by me on a case by case basis.  For instance, I have no problem letting them see The Grey but would not be buying them tickets for Hangover II.  Sexually explicit is my criteria in this area, action/violence is the lesser evil.  My upbringing was during the controversial “TV and video games are lessening our tolerance for violence” era.  I have to admit my tolerance for violence is up there.  Any kid with an X-Box or PSP has seen their fair share of violence.  Talking with my kids often is how I address some of these issues.  They will inform you in no uncertain terms that I do this too much.  However, when I overhear (eavesdrop) them speaking with friends, I know they have listened during one of my talks.  Humor works wonders in these situations.  A question to my son, “If I let you watch this are you going to take our car and try to jump it over the nearest ravine?”  When he gives the look that says I am nuts and says his, “No mom.”  Then, I know he has the general idea.  Recently when taking my kids and their friends to see a movie, I popped into one I was dying to see, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  This movie would be a no-no for my kid’s age group. (I read the books to see if they would be appropriate for my daughter to read and the answer is NO, but I loved them!)  Point to remember - I do not think an R-rating automatically should mean it is a can’t watch for the under 18 crowd.  So, I am biased- whatever I say goes I guess.  This does pose a different question.  What if we are seeing a PG-13 movie and find out one of our movie-going invitees is forbidden from watching?  Do we all switch movies or say, “Sorry, maybe next time.”  I have had this situation happen and we did the later, believe it or not.  At the time it seemed no big deal but when I think back I wonder if it was right?