Welcome to our dialogue! We may not all agree all of the time but everyone's opinion matters! -
Make sure to scroll all the way to the end for Advice from GusVernon!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

"Netiquette"???

MOM:  Online worlds are not like the real one where I am sitting right now.  They are easy…they make it easy to forget there are real people and real consequences beyond the screen.  Parents tell their kids all the time to be cautious on the internet but what does that mean?  As far as I am concerned, the internet is endless.  The possibilities go on and on to infinity…good and bad.  What exactly do we focus on when we have a conversation about “safety” or “netiquette?” 

Safety is a non-negotiable issue.  If you ask my kids the advice I give them most it is, “Don’t do stupid things!”  Then I elaborate on things that fall into the category of “stupid” like: giving out personal information or agreeing to meet with someone they don’t know because of an online conversation.

“Netiquette” is a murkier subject unfortunately.  My definition of netiquette is to adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.  Sounds simple enough but if it were really that simple, I wouldn’t be writing this little blog.  Our household has not had any major issues in this area but we have witnessed its effects on several occasions.  I am holding my breath as we begin to roll through the teen years, it seems inevitable.  Part of my purpose here is communication and hopefully this will play a role in my teen’s decision-making AND anyone who follows us on this adventure. 

We will blog on and see where it takes us.  A teen’s online self is a matter of degrees in my opinion, a bit cooler here and a little shyer there.  My parenting job is to help ensure that these fluctuations do not get too hot or too cold.  After all, teens can resist everything but temptation!

To Be ME or Not To Be ME!

ME: We put a poll online asking if you were the same online than in person. The results were mixed. Sometimes I even make myself “cooler” online (As if I even needed to!) Some people can even be MEANER online than in person! They think “Psh. Nobody will get mad!” and they end up being like...a bully or not "like" a bully- just a bully OR the can't belived what they said and now can't take it back!  That one sucks!        
And some people just straight out LIE.  That sucks too! 
As of this blog time- I just got no answers to this one.  Being someone else or being you "with some improvements" online is tempting.  Sometimes, if there is no harm done, it could be OK!  If harm is done, it probably is a bad idea- the trick is to know which is which!






Tuesday, February 21, 2012

mmmmmmm

ME:   Happy Fastnacht Day to all of my peeps….can’t talk now- my mouth is full!

Happy Fastnacht Day!!

MOM:     MMMMM……Happy Fastnacht Day!  Making mention of this special day on our blog is just for fun.  The kids rank this day right up there with Christmas and Birthdays (and Groundhog Day).  It is a Holiday made expressly for the taste buds.  The Pennsylvania Dutch produce more than their share of mouthwatering sweets and fastnachts top the list.

Traditionally fastnacht day is always the Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday) before the beginning of Lent.  It originated as a means to use up the excess in the household before the season of fasting and such.  Today it is about keeping in touch with our heritage and eating yummy donuts!  With potatoes as a main ingredient and frying the finished dough in lard (a must), how can they not be good???

P.S. Last one out of bed is the fastnacht!!!  

Monday, February 20, 2012

Facebook Needs Me!

ME:  Facebook. I don’t have one. All my friends do. WHY?!?! The answer, PARENTS. My mom says that people are going to “Stalk” me and such. All I want to do is post pictures of me and my friends at the movies, out to dinner, etc. And I won’t talk to anyone else! My best friend has one, and she’s friends WITH MY MOM. So, why can’t I have one if she has one? People think “Yay! I have a Facebook! POST BAD PICTURES! POST OTHER PEOPLE’S ADRESSES! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!” It’s like. NO. NO. NO. None of my friends would EVER do that, and I don’t see why some kids aren’t allowed to have one! (I understand if they are doing bad things they would get banned.) Even if I did have a Facebook, the “worst” thing I would do is comment, BANG to a picture of someone doing a “Duck face” face.  (I’m Duck hunting! Durrrrr) Besides, I think Facebook probably needs me…there’s not enough witty banter without me!

Social Media???

MOM: G-mail, facebook, chatrooms…how much should a middle school child be involved in these types of social media.  Of all the topics we may discuss, this is clearly an agree to disagree between Grace and I.  She is anxious to begin all and any types of social media.  On the other hand, I cringe at the idea.  For a year or so, I have had a facebook account.  Facebook has its ups and downs for me and I am an adult.  LIKE it for keeping in touch with family and friends that are literally scattered over the globe, from Belgium to Columbia and every state in the US.  A big DISLIKE for some of the obvious cattiness and petty postings that are clearly meant to annoy others- and I mean the adults!  For kids in the middle school to refrain from this kind of activity seems hopeless.  As parents we have all seen middle school kids in action and their lack of self-control constantly amazes me. My daughter does not have a facebook account for these and a very long list of other reasons. 

Concern is not only with the posting but with how much time I think she will devote to this activity…A LOT of time I would imagine.  Her schedule is full now with school and sports and the social activities that she does have- something will get shorted and I doubt it will be the social activities and media.   As of now, she has a Gmail account and can instant message there as well as a cell phone and Ipod that uses textplus.  She has everything but Facebook.  Which, as I am writing this, seems a bit illogical because I would have to be her friend on there and monitor her page.  I guess it just the final step at allowing her an online identity and I am not ready for it.  Between you and me, and now the whole world, I am more tech savy than my daughter and can keep track of all she is up too.  I have to say that it is work to keep ahead of her and hopefully she doesn’t pass me once she gets to high school.  It’s the only way I can be certain that she is safe.  She underestimates me as well but this will be changing after she reads this. LOL!

This issue cannot be summed up in one blog because it is so vast and there is so much available in the way of technology.  I plan to revisit this topic as issues arise.  Keep checking and add your comments as well, I’d love for other parents to weigh in!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Do Not Disturb!

ME:  My mom wrote a blog about how I am angry all of the time but it is not really true.  Sometimes, I just don’t feel like talking and want to be left alone.  And sometimes, (here we are going to go testing the “no grounding for what I say” thing) it is annoying when I am asked what is wrong or why I am so angry all the time.  Are you hearing me, if I have in my earphones then it is like a big do not disturb sign posted on my forehead.  After school, I just want to chill and get rid of any drama that befell me or any of my peeps during the day. It’s no big. I mean, I just want to relax for a bit and not be disturbed RIGHT AWAY, and if I have my headphones in when I come off the bus (which I usually do) LEAVE ME ALONE for a while. I’ll eat something and then I’ll usually be better and sounding less angry when I talk to someone.

 Another relevant factor, my younger brother is disturbing in his own strange and brotherly way.  He makes grand attempts to drive me nuts and usually it works! Like last night, I was “skype-ing” with my friend and he comes in in his UNDERWEAR eating a piece of CAKE!!! My friend was like “I did NOT need to see that!!! O-o  So as you all can see…I need my down time!


What is Up with That?

MOM:  Over the past week we have been busy with several issues.  It is the long time of winter where you are hoping for the groundhog to tell you spring is coming soon.  A lot of this time is spent indoors because of the cold/snow/rain/exhaustion/lack of funds/you name it.  As a result, I have made a very scientific discovery:  teenagers are VERY CRABBY at this particular time of year.  What is up with this?  There is anger at the world apparently.  As soon as she exits the school bus, the eyebrows knit in a foreboding “V.” 

When questioned about what is wrong, the common answer is of course, “nothing.”  Nothing sure does get the teens worked up and breathing fire.  DO NOT even inquire if there is homework because you will be met with rolling eyes and steam exiting their ears.  So what is the point of this blog you ask?  I am looking for comments to enlighten.  Being the clueless parent, I am looking for the youth to educate me. Are the IPod earbuds channeling bad energy into the brain?  Do all the teens have a “we are angry” rally before coming home?  What is the deal?   

I guess maybe I am being too harsh but I am a bewildered parent.  Someone help!!! Comments?

Friday, February 17, 2012

UGGly!!!

ME:  My mom told me she read that there may be a ban on wearing UGG boots in school and some schools already have.  Presently, that will have no effect on me since I don’t have a pair of UGG boots but lots of my friends do.  I’m thinking they are not going to like it, DUH!  Some kids keep their phones in their pockets and not their boots, ARE THEY GOING TO BAN PANTS?!?! Sometimes I need my phone because of after school band practice, field hockey practice after school, and lots of other things! Kids should be allowed to keep their phones in their boots but, if they are just texting in class they shouldn’t be allowed to have it. A girl in my class got sent to the I.S.S (In school suspension) for texting in class. This was during a test and the teacher saw her. She is a good friend of mine, but she would NEVER cheat. I met her in the bathroom later in the day, and she was just texting her mom that she needed to pick her up after school! The teachers didn’t believe her either!!! Some kids need their phones, and they shouldn’t punish the” good” kids for what the “bad” kids do.

To UGG or not to UGG!

MOM: UGG boots, we all know what these look like.  I happen to like them and they look comfortable.   I say look because neither myself nor my daughter has these in our wardrobe as of yet, but my niece has a pair as well as many of Grace’s friends.  Eventually, I will break down and give the go-ahead for my daughter to pick out her favorite.  On to the controversy, at our senior high school there is to be a ban on wearing these because of girls keeping their cell phones and various other items that are “restricted” hidden in the boots.  This is in the rumor stage right now but other area schools have already taken the plunge and instituted the ban.  As mom, I am anxious to see what my daughter’s post will be regarding this.  We might actually be on the same page here.  “You cannot control all of the people all of the time” is a phrase I think some overzealous school administrators should take to heart. 

With a smile, I recall a few years back, the silly bandz craze and subsequent ban of these items in the school.  Seriously, if there ever was a time for a parent to question the sanity of administrators.  This ban went all the way down to my son in the elementary school.  Apparently, at that level kids were trading and then having issues with unhappiness in their trades.  Last time I checked, this life lesson was one that I hoped my children would learn. 

Sorry for the tangent but it does resonate in the UGG boot story.  If someone is going to smuggle their phone along for the ride throughout their day; boots or not, they are going to do it.  Never was I a fan of the idea of making a sweeping judgment against all for the action of a few bad apples.  Owning and wanting to have your cell phone does not make you a bad apple in my book but I see the concern by the school officials.  Cyber bullying, sexting , and distraction are very real issues in a school where there is cell phone access but are the wearers of puffy boots being made into scapegoats?  There must be more appalling offenses to worry about than just carrying a cell phone in your boot.   Also worth mentioning is the investment made in these boots, they are not cheap.  If I am going to shell out that much cash for boots for my child, they better be able to wear them to where they spend 70% of their day.

In a nutshell, my views are just old fashioned.  I don’t believe in punishing the entire group because one member decides to do something stupid!   As for now, we are in the waiting stages of this proposal and it is unclear if it will be a ban at the middle and high school levels.  We will keep you posted!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Target-A-Palooza

ME:    STRANGER DANGER!! STRANGER DANGER!! Normally I wouldn’t have talked to people I didn’t know when in 3 different lines, at Target, at midnight. I had my friends there, and it was really fun! While waiting in lines (OMG it took like, 3 hoursL) we got to see all the different stuff in the store!! YAY! Both of my friends are “Team Jacob” and so am I (Sorry Edward lovers, he’s just too... SPARKLY. My friend calls him a snowman, he sparkles and he’s cold. Nuff Said.)  The store workers took 50 people to the part of the store with the giant TVs to watch the preview. It was a boring part of the movie, when Alice sent her a note written on a page from one of her books. THERE WAS NO JACOB!!!!! We were so mad! After that we got to wait in ANOTHER line.  We talked with some cool people in this line also.  This line was to get the movie for Part 1. The line went right by the shoe part of the store so our moms waited in line and we tried on some HEELS! YAY! I got these black and red (I’m going to say maybe 6 inches) and they both got black 2 inch ones. I told them “NO. NO NO NO NO. GO BACK AND GET SOME REAL SHOES!!”  The line dragged on and on! Our moms stayed in the line and we walked around Target. We looked at dresses, baby cribs (BTW, My one friend started sitting in one…) sunglasses, scarfs, bracelets, and purses. My friend who tried sitting in the crib was just about asleep lying on the floor nest to the purses! We had hot chocolate from Starbucks to keep us awake a little more. Finally, we got to the front of the line and we bought our movies. YESSSSSSSSS!! On our way home we all fell asleep in the car.
~'( -.-)'~  <ZzZzZz) It was an AWESOME weekend!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

What is this Phenomenon?

MOM:  Well, this past weekend was one of the good ones.  Grace invited some of her friends to the movies on Friday night and then we stopped at a Target to take part in the sneak peak festivities for Breaking Dawn Part 2 and to grab the Part 1 DVD at midnight.  Often there are comments from adults (and some teens believe it or not) that they like the books and such but do not understand the phenomenon.  This view is comprehensible; however, the point is being missed.  This story belongs to this generation.  It is a part of what binds them together.  The girls had fun even though they waited in this line, that line, and then yet another line.  Why would this be enjoyable?  The answer is people.  While they camped out, everyone present chit-chatted with each other and sipped on Starbucks.  We met other mothers and daughters, girlfriends, and yes, even their boyfriends who tagged along.  Talk was about all things Twilight: favorite characters, favorite scenes, book vs. movie, etc.  Certainly, the girls will be able to gossip and giggle about the night’s events during the coming week at school.  After all, it was a great experience and isn’t that what we want for our kids…to have one great experience after another. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

No Big Deal - R

ME: My friends and I are going to the movies this weekend.  We are going to see a PG-13 movie but it has brought up an interesting subject.  My mom has let me see some R-rated movies but not others.  What’s the big deal?- we have seen a lot more than kids used to at our age.  It is all over the place if you are looking to check it out.  Even youtube is filled with stuff I probably shouldn’t see but it pops up.  Could it be better to see with a parent supervising? It would be absolutely weird though!  Most movies are on the edge anyway, like Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1, it was originally going to be R.  My biggest fear….What if Part 2 is rated R?  I am going to have to kiss butt until November to be able to go see it. LOL!  If I was being serious though, I don’t really like some of the sexually explicit stuff that comes up in movies.  It makes me uncomfortable especially if like- my brother is there or something…EWWW.  There are you happy mom?? But if I do want to see something rated-R, it should be no big deal.

R-Rated

MOM:  This topic R-rated movies has come up this week because we have a movie trip with friends planned for this weekend.  This is a complicated topic to me as a mom because I am not very conventional in my views.  My kids are tween and early teen and I would have no problem letting them see an R-rated movie.  The movies would be evaluated by me on a case by case basis.  For instance, I have no problem letting them see The Grey but would not be buying them tickets for Hangover II.  Sexually explicit is my criteria in this area, action/violence is the lesser evil.  My upbringing was during the controversial “TV and video games are lessening our tolerance for violence” era.  I have to admit my tolerance for violence is up there.  Any kid with an X-Box or PSP has seen their fair share of violence.  Talking with my kids often is how I address some of these issues.  They will inform you in no uncertain terms that I do this too much.  However, when I overhear (eavesdrop) them speaking with friends, I know they have listened during one of my talks.  Humor works wonders in these situations.  A question to my son, “If I let you watch this are you going to take our car and try to jump it over the nearest ravine?”  When he gives the look that says I am nuts and says his, “No mom.”  Then, I know he has the general idea.  Recently when taking my kids and their friends to see a movie, I popped into one I was dying to see, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  This movie would be a no-no for my kid’s age group. (I read the books to see if they would be appropriate for my daughter to read and the answer is NO, but I loved them!)  Point to remember - I do not think an R-rating automatically should mean it is a can’t watch for the under 18 crowd.  So, I am biased- whatever I say goes I guess.  This does pose a different question.  What if we are seeing a PG-13 movie and find out one of our movie-going invitees is forbidden from watching?  Do we all switch movies or say, “Sorry, maybe next time.”  I have had this situation happen and we did the later, believe it or not.  At the time it seemed no big deal but when I think back I wonder if it was right? 

Monday, February 6, 2012

My View

ME:
Heyy! There is much to say and I am going to say it here!  It was actually my mom's idea to start a blog about our differing opinions.  At first I was like "right mom" but then it occured to me that it could be a pretty cool idea.  Especially because we will not be holding back in the opinion department with no consequences.  How often does that happen???

The Ugly Truth!

MOM:  A blog.  Could this be the answer to communication problems between teens, tweens, and parents everywhere?  We are certainly going to find out in a gruesome and public way! (Hopefully not too gruesome.)   The blog was my idea (kudos) but my daughter coming on board was essential to success (kudos to her).  We had some negotiating to do.  Turns out, she is a tough negotiator when there is a serious issue on the line.  It boils down to a main point or the “prime directive” we will blog by:  Say what you must say as long as it is truth, there will be no consequence ( grounding, etc.) for delivering your opinion.  This is fair- after all – who wants to read a bunch of puffy blogs about rainbows and unicorns.  We want the ugly truth!